real versus reel

The darkest of the nights are always followed by the brightest of the days and a whole new perspective to life. A killer realization of the thick line, shall we call it the electric fencing, that separates reality from fiction. A crash course about life has just been completed and the hell lot of information I gained has almost constipated my mind beyond capacity. Tough, are the times when true love shows. Yeah maybe! But with me, either there is no truth or love or the time was not tough enough, that the inferences differed. No personal comments have been hinted at anybody.

Fairy tales have always fascinated me. The ‘happy endings’ which happen to be the most common trait of all fairy tales was and still is my biggest fantasy. Despite the ample problems and evil curses, the princess meets her prince and ‘they live happily ever after’. One of the phrases in the world of literature that cannot be ignored. Cinderella’s glass shoe, rapenzell’s long hair, the spindle which put the beauty to an eternal sleep, the apple that poisoned snow white, the rose which played the cupid between the beauty and the beast; a world where the inanimate, non living objects have their special identity. A world where good always triumphs over evil. A world full of love and happiness. A world where every story has a happy ending.

Frankly, fiction is after all not that distinguished when compared to reality. Real life orbits around happy endings, as well. Unlike in the fictitious world, here, one man’s food is other man’s poison. Reality is strongly based on the slaughtering of one man’s feelings in order to gain happiness or cynical pleasure, name it as you want. Its more than just easy to cremate hope, but it is as hard or even harder to hope against hope, that someday things will change. A little something I saw today on my ride back home, was truly an eye-wetter and a hope raiser. A ray of hope that life could be a fairytale.

An old man who had unfortunately lost both his legs was seated on a three-d cycle, with a bale of rags he had picked for the day. Sweaty and dark, pale and thin as a rake, he stood at the traffic signal, beside me. The sight was awful enough to stand through. However, my sight involuntarily shifted across to take a second look at this man, during which, an old woman hopped onto the cycle, with a new bag full of her pick from the street. The man rotated the pedals with his hands, while his wife, steered the three wheeler, safe across the road. In the split of a second they were out of sight, but made the deepest of the impressions in my mind.

For this couple, the day begins and ends with rag-picking. Their dream of having a better lifestyle might have tumbled down, when the so called bread earner of the family was handicapped for life. Despite all the bruises and scars, they hope against hope, that some miracle might change their life. They might have held each others hand tight and promised to walk past every obstacle together. Every mountain becomes a mere stone, when you are in love.

Life does truly change when you know somebody cares for you. This somebody could be your mother, father, brother, sister, boyfriend, girlfriend, cousin, pet dog, cat, god or even jai singh rathore:) I spend half my day cribbing about not having anything to look forward to. I spend the other half, whining about the wrong things I chose for myself. I almost have little or no time for the one's i once loved so much. Grandmother calls up to spend a few moments with me, I hang up on her coz a friend calls up at the same time. Despite everything, she still loves me, i love her too, but its so hard to express.

However, the only possible conclusion I can make for this topic is that, fiction is a subset of reality and never the other way round.

blog tag

Last movie seen in a theatre: accident, a kannada flick.. it was my first late night movie ever in a theatre:)


What book are you reading?: stuck to engineering books .


Favourite board game: chess used to be my favorite.. i also enjoy playing monopoly.


Favourite magazine: the vogue.. i have never read a single edition till date;)


Favourite smells: i cud kill for a sniff of the cologne "jovan musk". hell!! who discovered it?!


Favourite sound;i like the pitter patter of the rain drops and the dashing of the tides against the rocks.


Worst feeling in the world: i would have said solitude if i answered it yesterday. betral i think is the worst feeling in the world.


What is the first thing you think of when you wake up?:i try to recall my dream and savor it for some more time.


Favourite fast food place: no favorites in this category. i can feed on everything , everywhere.


Future child's name:i shall have two children and adopt one child. i shall name them, tamannah, aditya and khushi.


Finish this statement, "If I had a lot of money I'd…": quit college and buy myself a restaurant.


Do you drive fast?yes, if you called 40km/hr fast. however, love speed..

Do you sleep with a stuffed animal?lol.. i'm a stuffed animl myself;)

Storms - Cool or Scary?cool and scary.. but very very sexy.

Do you eat the stems on broccoli? come again.! what s this strange thing you just mentioned?

If you could dye your hair any colour, what would be your choice? pink and blue streaks.

Name all the different cities/towns you have lived in: presently residing @ bangalore. i dont have a past or a future, that i know of.

Favourite sports to watch: rugby and football.. definitely not cricket..

What's under your bed? crushed dreams, agony, solitude and hope.

Would you like to be born as yourself again?: always. i have always loved myself

Morning person or night owl? morning owl and a night person:) sleep is my first love.

Over easy or sunny side up? no eggs for me:D

Favourite place to relax: pockets full, i'd say a long trip, pockets empty, my couch s heaven.

Favourite pie: apple pie

Favourite ice cream flavour: mango


You would pass this tag to : will see..

A damsel in disguise

Back after a hiatus. Nothing remarkable has happened. Except that I have become a happier person. I have begun to feel the inadequacy of human life span. In this short span, man tries to achieve everything and most of the times he rests with the redundant, materialistic property while what he really needs is a bit of care and lots of love to be happy.

Last few days have been hard on me. Petty, unnecessary emotions hurled up uneasy hurricanes of activities. The closer, rather I call it the closest seemed to sail away into a distance immeasurable. Nevertheless, a little bit of talking, an outflow for the bottled emotions, some truth and a lot of love was what was needed to heal our bruised hearts.

I seem mature, don’t I? Yeah! I turned twenty on the 4th of May. Nothing really has changed. I still love the rains, I love the beach, and I want to take up a job in journalism (yeah! Crime scene coverage) or maybe I want to be an RJ. But destiny has probably assigned me to a world of technology. All of us have to bow down before his majesty; the destiny.

However, I have decided to dedicate this to all somebodys who someday turn nobodys because there is a lot of pleasure in selfless dedications.
To dear damsel in disguise.


Innocent eyes beneath lie,
Hatred and jealousy, your weapons of pry,
Tawdriness you think is worth your prize,
Get well soon dear damsel in disguise.

A hand of love at you he held,
A bruise you slashed which could not be weld,
An imbecile greater I cannot trace,
Get well soon dear damsel in disguise.

Dark clouds you think you cast in my life,
Unsophisticated were the sneer and mocking snipe,
My whole world you tried to jeoparadize
Get well soon, dear damsel in disguise.


Beauty that you think is a treasure,
Will you soon lose beyond measure,
Love and faith , do they believe the wise
Get well soon dear damsel in disguise.

I lately realised the reason behind the detonation of every relationship(in my case, we shall call it friendship). The wreckage occurs when one walks ahead of the other. when a sense of scornful superiority, disdain seeps in, the relationship dessicates.
somebody has rightly said:

dont follow me,
i am not a leader,
dont walk ahead of me,
i am not a follower,
walk with me,
be my companion.

ps: offense intended at nobody.

when the rat race scores over life....

I have never been more awed in life. I have never appreciated silence better. Looks like either I am inching my way towards sainthood or maybe I am falling in... Ahem... strange!

It was my first day off ever since the semester began. Idleness always brings with it the same twitches of nostalgia and moist- eyed repercussions. The not so comfortable but extremely sensitive journey to the past, left several (unanswered) questions lingering in my mind.

Childhood is the most relished phase of one’s life. Reminisce is as beautiful as the experience. Being the first baby of the family, I have been loved and pampered to the extent of becoming selfishly possessive (a hypothetical crime committed by my progenitors, the results of which I shall reap, eventually). However, the extra share of love, which the younger-to-me members (of family) were deprived, has made me one of most emotional persons of the family (an asset or a set back, situation decides).



Love they say can help you survive tempests. However, it helped me toddle, walk, ride my bicycle, play chess, play cricket and do a hundred other things. I have always wondered, what keeps two people together for life? Why is it that I tell my dad my failures and not someone else? How is it that the food grandma feeds me, is tastier than when I use a cutlery? Mom brushes my hair and I feel like the princess of the world, why? Who taught me to snuggle in HIS arms when I felt suffocated? The emotional bonding can help you leap across hurdles, cross-seas of depression and win a future of happiness.


However, it fails miserably to help you win THE RACE. The rat race, whole world seems to be a part. A race you cannot exit. A race you have to run mindlessly, against your whims and fancies. All of us are stuck up in a world of meaningless competition. In a futile attempt to build a future, we destroy our childhood, adolescence, adulthood and finally old age, as well. The discontentment of man with what he has and his vigilant greed to always step into somebody else’s shoe has dug deep crevasses of hatred and vengeance. The spirit of camaraderie has been replaced by a spirit of deterrence. The number of people you can stretch out for help under inevitable circumstances has mysteriously deteriorated.

I have always feared future. However, what I fear more is failure to have a future. Inability to keep up a steady position in the rat race. No matter how despicable the rat race, we have always lived with it and will continue to live with it. There will be no winner, but everybody participates. Unfortunately, it scores over relations, peace and happiness.

Ps: I got my results a day ago. Mind has gone topsy turvy. The above post might seem meaningless. Sorry, was just frustrated. Neither VTU nor has life lived up to my expectations. Everybody gets betrayed.

at the shut of an eye

The morning sun gracefully rises from the abyss, spreading rays of crimson light, dissolving darkness and those lovely dreams. Nature plays numerous roles in one’s life. She can be your friend, family and LOVE. On the contrary, she can ambush life and be an incomparable destructor. Despite the demise of dreams with every fresh dawn, we dream on.

Dreaming has always been my passion. A warm blanket (to cling on to), a little cuddling up on a sofa or a bed and there begins a neo, eternal journey. A voyage through the skies and stars. A voyage so familiar yet so mystique. The uncanny period of life more powerful than reality, paints pretty pictures of the dream job, dream paycheck, dream bike, dream car, dream house, dream love, dream kiss and other endless desires, which are invariably non-existent. A period of intoxication you want to savor forever. The sweet pains you want to relish for more than a lifetime.

However, good things come with unwanted supplements. This intoxication could sometimes give you the worst ever hangover. Those nightmares of god forbidden death of your loved one, followed by groping for your phone and buzzing him in the middle of the night, just to check if he is alright. A smiley that comes as a response to your unwanted fear, romantic (I know), but scary nevertheless. Those examination oriented dreadful dreams, where you are pressing the nib of the pen against the paper so hard, but the ink refuses to follow suit. NERVE WRECKING! A loud yell of anguish and agony that mostly goes unheard, as if a halo of vacuum was sucking up all the screams. SPOOKY!


Dreams have been defined as an unconscious state of confused mind. However, this confusion is that possession of yours which can neither be mugged nor tampered nor altered nor destroyed. It’s a world of mystery where you meet your inside YOU. A sweet world of pains and pleasures. A strong stairway to your goals.


In all the beautiful and grotesque times, I keep dreaming as it unravels the inside me:)



a little update:
Two beautiful members have embarked onto the most joyous journey called ‘life’.Yeah! Its celebration time at my place. My aunt delivered twins last night. Aaryan and Arjun. :) Congrats to the cutest parents’ in the world :)

a small four liner:)
Ever since, I met you,
You have been the apple of my eye,
With, Golden moon light you fill
The gleeful night sky.

miracles do happen!

The whole world is abuzz. The clock seems to be ticking faster than ever. The advancement in technology has, however been gravely unsuccessful in solving the inadequate 24 hours a day crisis. This bulging growth and advancement has left man with an insatiable thirst for acquiring some invisible, worthless matter. Fast food, fast life, high blood pressure, increased pollution of every kind has replaced mother’s food (with extra ounces of love and affection), healthy living, grandma’s stories and outings with grandpa. I have witnessed this bizarre transition from a life filled with love to a life equipped with gizmos and surprisingly prefer to live amidst people who love and care rather than amidst hi-fi gadgets.( I have tried my best to refrain from expressing my transcendental views, however off late I feel love is spiritual and am a little inclined towards spirituality.)

A warm touch, a little peck on the cheek, a word of solace, a shoulder to lean on or a lap to accommodate an ailing mind could be a more powerful medicine for a disease as acute as asthma. The last night’s incident invoked in me the essence of loving, to be more specific being loved.

At around mid night, I jerked out of my sleep and could almost feel the dropping heart rate. I could feel my lungs heating up due to inadequate dosage of oxygen in every breath. The inhaler, which plays the savior, was empty. The door to my parents’ room was ajar. I peeked in, only to find them absorbed in deep sleep. Not intending to disturb them, I retreated and tried to ignore the situation. I dropped into my bed, hoping to sleep. After hours of continued trouble, I felt I was drifting back and forth from consciousness. Unable to bare the fear of death, I woke my mom up around 3 in the night. She very patiently came up to me, sat beside my bed, laid my head on her lap, ran her fingers through my hair, taught me how to inhale and exhale (like a mother bird teaches her young ones the vital necessities) and the next thing I knew, I was alive. It was early morning, sunlight streaking my room and my mother asleep on the couch in my room. She had nursed me with all the love and affection, protected her little girl from perhaps a lethal asthma attack and in a very complex way, saved my life.

This episode however opened new insights. Yet again, love proved itself as the most outstanding healer. My falling belief about love being a weakling in the tech world has been crushed. After all, miracles do happen if you believe in love :)

FiT or FaT

Obesity!
It has been the oldest predator. A disease as people may say has been successfully destroying people physically and more so psychologically. The tentacles of this horrible ailment has grown and over-grown and has reached every age group of human life. The most vulnerable however have been the adolescent, and the impact it bears on these growing minds has been enormous. I have been one of the less-damaged victims; I might as well say a survivor. The frequent taunts from fellow-mates (who are not wax models themselves or epitome of a perfect physique), the nightmares of prom nights and other glamour events, the fact that you cant get a date (who am I kidding? this has never been a problem in India), I have-as far as I can remember-lived with the XL extension. The livin’ together relation can now be termed as marriage, as per the new ordinance. It is as if I am married to obesity for life, (after all, it is a part of my identity today) no divorce available, whatsoever.


Despite the blubber, the heavily loaded adipose, I have always been healthy, to be more specific a fit human being. **touch wood** so what are we really looking for here? Fitness or an anorexic figure? Who set the yardstick for a perfect body? I read about the anorexic models being fired from their profession, the news spurred scents of happiness in me. I chuckled to myself secretly. After all, someone was enlightened. However, when will we learn that beauty could wither with age? What lasts until eternity is, maybe love and faith! I am not just a complainer, I have tried everything under the sun, from walks to runs to feeding on air, and nothing has really worked. Nor will it, if you inherited a couple of disgraceful genes from your progenitors.


Burning up the lipid deposits is beyond me. However, I have mastered the art of dodging the taunts by humoring my deficiencies. ‘Laugh with the world before the world laughs at you’. In all the despair, there emanates a ray of hope that, someday men will value more than mere beauty. The world will actually realize the significance of every individual. Declarations of every individual being special, will whole-heartedly be accepted. Obese people will no longer be teased and tormented, psychologically. After all, somebody rightly said ‘bones are for dogs men like meat’.

SHEer FUN :)

Exams have receded. The feeling of ecstasy is inexplicable. Even the coldest of the winds, feel warm n lovely. Any further digging into the past, further talk about exams could kick alive the sleeping devil. So, let us let him rest in peace.

Holidays! That period of one’s life, when he owns each second of his day. No schedules to stick to, no timetables, no getting up early, it is independence from HIS HIGHNESS KING DISCIPLINE. However, the souvenir for exams, the monsieur results, will soon arrive to destroy every minute of my happiness. Anyway, I don’t believe in a tomorrow, so lets lead ‘today’ to an immortal haven.

The Y-chromosomes have flooded the earth. Holy mother! Is it some kind of fault or has the semen become the world’s most prejudiced colloidal solution? The male population seems to be rising like the evening tides on a beach. My feministic alter, was growing out of control n before she took possession n grew mightier, I pulled myself on a holiday trip to WONDER LA. It was a freezing Friday morning; however, I chose to put on a sleeveless t-shirt. It gives me insane pleasure to wage solitary wars against nature.
We stepped into a monstrous metal box with wheels n a rough, loud scream, which people in our city refer to as the BMTC bus. The driver’s patience received a thumbs-up from my side, as he carefully maneuvered the monster through the packed roads.
After an endless travel, we finally arrived at the place of excitement n adventure.
The first glimpse swept my feministic alter ego, off her feet. She could not contain the excitement of seeing such an influx in the female population. There were over 7 all girls’ schools who wanted to experience the excitement along with us. However, the romantic alter ego yelled out a deep sigh of discontentment n rage.

Buying the entry passes was never a problem, because, most of our comrades had already booked their tickets. The counters were free n welcoming. It was not my first time here; however, it was the best time. Sensing the weather to be still cold n the fact that all the little lilies hopped into the water, we decided to go with the drier rides. There is something intriguing about WONDER LA, it activates every lazy muscle of your body and the scenario nourishes your guts to obese. Often I thought, it was an obligation to flaunt the fake adventurous attitude, to cope with peers. Nevertheless, here faking becomes an obsolete act.


Tracing 360 degrees in the wind, somersaults by those gigantic machinery, a true work of adventure-loving, skilled engineers, I thought. For the first time ever, I had a reason to appreciate engineers. That does not destroy my strong hatred towards VTU or Mrs. Hooligan and their torture. Water rides followed, by the end of which, I could feel the rats pacing up and down my stomach.


The sun sank into the horizon, the darkness enthralled and the day ended beautifully. Amidst all the excitement, fun and frolic, shruthi realized she was more than 50 kg and I realized I would never be able to survive without these people. A bunch of mavericks but diversity of thought has brought us all together.

On my way back home, however I could associate each one of us to one of the rides.
Shruthi, krithi and arpitha however would top on INSANITY. They are crazy crazier and the craziest.
Vasudha, manisha and archana are maverick, independent minded and successful.
Deepika and anusha are splashes of joy n smiles, they would be water splash.
Well, I could call myself the pendulum, mostly positioned at the extremes.