Saturday, September 5, 2009

death race





Everybody continues to run…

At a pace unmeasured...

The death race has begun and this time it has enslaved a greater number of people. Long days and even longer nights have witnessed the amateurs pace past them at lightening speeds. Every runner has his best shoe on and every shoe wants to hail its feet a victor. The best from every imaginable direction have started to run. We are all running towards an invisible destination or are we running in the right direction?

I have also been running this race for a long time now. New people, i start chasing and new people start chasing me, after every specific interval of time. This race knows no result. It knows no age and has no expiration date. However, this race has a million illusions of winning and even greater illusions of losing. Every single time I run past a participant, the feeling of ecstasy is indescribable and every time some one else surpasses me, the pain is equally indescribable. However, there is no time to celebrate or even cry a river over the loss.

There have been several occasions when I’ve wanted to freeze the sands of time and walk at a slow pace on a beach, listening to the roar of the tides, feeling the hush of the night and the gaze of the moon. There are times when I just want to run into HIS arms and hide like no one can see. There are times when I just want to give up, because that seems to be the easiest option.

However, the nature of the race is deceptive. Though giving up seems easy, it is one of the hardest to implement. Once the race begins, you are compelled to run, with all your might. You run despite your strengths and weakness. ‘cos the only thing this race taught us is to never give up. Like some one once told me, the difference between a winner and a loser is nothing but patience...

Sunday, January 11, 2009

HIM and HER




Blessed with grace and a prince’s gait,

He walked her world and moved her fate,

With love, he filled her life, so mellow,

Bright hues replaced pale and yellow.

Away he brushed, with his arms so warm,

Her fears and pain, to ensure her calm,

He charmed her with his wit, so clever,

Soon she knew, he was more than a buddy, her lover.

Epochal, she thought, was the time they met,

More pious than the sunrise or the sunset,

Lost in his world, she could drive away her blue,

His placid touch, to the paradise, was a view,

His arms, she knew, was where she found solace,

His heart is where she seeks a place.

In him, she bestows her present and future,

Cause, she knows he would never let a lethal thorn sting her in future.

Thursday, August 14, 2008

real versus reel


The darkest of the nights are always followed by the brightest of the days and a whole new perspective to life. A killer realization of the thick line, shall we call it the electric fencing, that separates reality from fiction. A crash course about life has just been completed and the hell lot of information I gained has almost constipated my mind beyond capacity. Tough, are the times when true love shows. Yeah maybe! But with me, either there is no truth or love or the time was not tough enough, that the inferences differed. No personal comments have been hinted at anybody.

Fairy tales have always fascinated me. The ‘happy endings’ which happen to be the most common trait of all fairy tales was and still is my biggest fantasy. Despite the ample problems and evil curses, the princess meets her prince and ‘they live happily ever after’. One of the phrases in the world of literature that cannot be ignored. Cinderella’s glass shoe, rapenzell’s long hair, the spindle which put the beauty to an eternal sleep, the apple that poisoned snow white, the rose which played the cupid between the beauty and the beast; a world where the inanimate, non living objects have their special identity. A world where good always triumphs over evil. A world full of love and happiness. A world where every story has a happy ending.

Frankly, fiction is after all not that distinguished when compared to reality. Real life orbits around happy endings, as well. Unlike in the fictitious world, here, one man’s food is other man’s poison. Reality is strongly based on the slaughtering of one man’s feelings in order to gain happiness or cynical pleasure, name it as you want. Its more than just easy to cremate hope, but it is as hard or even harder to hope against hope, that someday things will change. A little something I saw today on my ride back home, was truly an eye-wetter and a hope raiser. A ray of hope that life could be a fairytale.

An old man who had unfortunately lost both his legs was seated on a three-d cycle, with a bale of rags he had picked for the day. Sweaty and dark, pale and thin as a rake, he stood at the traffic signal, beside me. The sight was awful enough to stand through. However, my sight involuntarily shifted across to take a second look at this man, during which, an old woman hopped onto the cycle, with a new bag full of her pick from the street. The man rotated the pedals with his hands, while his wife, steered the three wheeler, safe across the road. In the split of a second they were out of sight, but made the deepest of the impressions in my mind.

For this couple, the day begins and ends with rag-picking. Their dream of having a better lifestyle might have tumbled down, when the so called bread earner of the family was handicapped for life. Despite all the bruises and scars, they hope against hope, that some miracle might change their life. They might have held each others hand tight and promised to walk past every obstacle together. Every mountain becomes a mere stone, when you are in love.

Life does truly change when you know somebody cares for you. This somebody could be your mother, father, brother, sister, boyfriend, girlfriend, cousin, pet dog, cat, god or even jai singh rathore:) I spend half my day cribbing about not having anything to look forward to. I spend the other half, whining about the wrong things I chose for myself. I almost have little or no time for the one's i once loved so much. Grandmother calls up to spend a few moments with me, I hang up on her coz a friend calls up at the same time. Despite everything, she still loves me, i love her too, but its so hard to express.

However, the only possible conclusion I can make for this topic is that, fiction is a subset of reality and never the other way round.

Saturday, May 31, 2008

blog tag

Last movie seen in a theatre: accident, a kannada flick.. it was my first late night movie ever in a theatre:)


What book are you reading?: stuck to engineering books .


Favourite board game: chess used to be my favorite.. i also enjoy playing monopoly.


Favourite magazine: the vogue.. i have never read a single edition till date;)


Favourite smells: i cud kill for a sniff of the cologne "jovan musk". hell!! who discovered it?!


Favourite sound;i like the pitter patter of the rain drops and the dashing of the tides against the rocks.


Worst feeling in the world: i would have said solitude if i answered it yesterday. betral i think is the worst feeling in the world.


What is the first thing you think of when you wake up?:i try to recall my dream and savor it for some more time.


Favourite fast food place: no favorites in this category. i can feed on everything , everywhere.


Future child's name:i shall have two children and adopt one child. i shall name them, tamannah, aditya and khushi.


Finish this statement, "If I had a lot of money I'd…": quit college and buy myself a restaurant.


Do you drive fast?yes, if you called 40km/hr fast. however, love speed..

Do you sleep with a stuffed animal?lol.. i'm a stuffed animl myself;)

Storms - Cool or Scary?cool and scary.. but very very sexy.

Do you eat the stems on broccoli? come again.! what s this strange thing you just mentioned?

If you could dye your hair any colour, what would be your choice? pink and blue streaks.

Name all the different cities/towns you have lived in: presently residing @ bangalore. i dont have a past or a future, that i know of.

Favourite sports to watch: rugby and football.. definitely not cricket..

What's under your bed? crushed dreams, agony, solitude and hope.

Would you like to be born as yourself again?: always. i have always loved myself

Morning person or night owl? morning owl and a night person:) sleep is my first love.

Over easy or sunny side up? no eggs for me:D

Favourite place to relax: pockets full, i'd say a long trip, pockets empty, my couch s heaven.

Favourite pie: apple pie

Favourite ice cream flavour: mango


You would pass this tag to : will see..

Wednesday, May 14, 2008

A damsel in disguise



Back after a hiatus. Nothing remarkable has happened. Except that I have become a happier person. I have begun to feel the inadequacy of human life span. In this short span, man tries to achieve everything and most of the times he rests with the redundant, materialistic property while what he really needs is a bit of care and lots of love to be happy.

Last few days have been hard on me. Petty, unnecessary emotions hurled up uneasy hurricanes of activities. The closer, rather I call it the closest seemed to sail away into a distance immeasurable. Nevertheless, a little bit of talking, an outflow for the bottled emotions, some truth and a lot of love was what was needed to heal our bruised hearts.

I seem mature, don’t I? Yeah! I turned twenty on the 4th of May. Nothing really has changed. I still love the rains, I love the beach, and I want to take up a job in journalism (yeah! Crime scene coverage) or maybe I want to be an RJ. But destiny has probably assigned me to a world of technology. All of us have to bow down before his majesty; the destiny.

However, I have decided to dedicate this to all somebodys who someday turn nobodys because there is a lot of pleasure in selfless dedications.
To dear damsel in disguise.


Innocent eyes beneath lie,
Hatred and jealousy, your weapons of pry,
Tawdriness you think is worth your prize,
Get well soon dear damsel in disguise.

A hand of love at you he held,
A bruise you slashed which could not be weld,
An imbecile greater I cannot trace,
Get well soon dear damsel in disguise.

Dark clouds you think you cast in my life,
Unsophisticated were the sneer and mocking snipe,
My whole world you tried to jeoparadize
Get well soon, dear damsel in disguise.


Beauty that you think is a treasure,
Will you soon lose beyond measure,
Love and faith , do they believe the wise
Get well soon dear damsel in disguise.








I lately realised the reason behind the detonation of every relationship(in my case, we shall call it friendship). The wreckage occurs when one walks ahead of the other. when a sense of scornful superiority, disdain seeps in, the relationship dessicates.
somebody has rightly said:

dont follow me,
i am not a leader,
dont walk ahead of me,
i am not a follower,
walk with me,
be my companion.

ps: offense intended at nobody.

Wednesday, March 19, 2008

when the rat race scores over life....

I have never been more awed in life. I have never appreciated silence better. Looks like either I am inching my way towards sainthood or maybe I am falling in... Ahem... strange!

It was my first day off ever since the semester began. Idleness always brings with it the same twitches of nostalgia and moist- eyed repercussions. The not so comfortable but extremely sensitive journey to the past, left several (unanswered) questions lingering in my mind.

Childhood is the most relished phase of one’s life. Reminisce is as beautiful as the experience. Being the first baby of the family, I have been loved and pampered to the extent of becoming selfishly possessive (a hypothetical crime committed by my progenitors, the results of which I shall reap, eventually). However, the extra share of love, which the younger-to-me members (of family) were deprived, has made me one of most emotional persons of the family (an asset or a set back, situation decides).



Love they say can help you survive tempests. However, it helped me toddle, walk, ride my bicycle, play chess, play cricket and do a hundred other things. I have always wondered, what keeps two people together for life? Why is it that I tell my dad my failures and not someone else? How is it that the food grandma feeds me, is tastier than when I use a cutlery? Mom brushes my hair and I feel like the princess of the world, why? Who taught me to snuggle in HIS arms when I felt suffocated? The emotional bonding can help you leap across hurdles, cross-seas of depression and win a future of happiness.


However, it fails miserably to help you win THE RACE. The rat race, whole world seems to be a part. A race you cannot exit. A race you have to run mindlessly, against your whims and fancies. All of us are stuck up in a world of meaningless competition. In a futile attempt to build a future, we destroy our childhood, adolescence, adulthood and finally old age, as well. The discontentment of man with what he has and his vigilant greed to always step into somebody else’s shoe has dug deep crevasses of hatred and vengeance. The spirit of camaraderie has been replaced by a spirit of deterrence. The number of people you can stretch out for help under inevitable circumstances has mysteriously deteriorated.

I have always feared future. However, what I fear more is failure to have a future. Inability to keep up a steady position in the rat race. No matter how despicable the rat race, we have always lived with it and will continue to live with it. There will be no winner, but everybody participates. Unfortunately, it scores over relations, peace and happiness.

Ps: I got my results a day ago. Mind has gone topsy turvy. The above post might seem meaningless. Sorry, was just frustrated. Neither VTU nor has life lived up to my expectations. Everybody gets betrayed.

Saturday, February 23, 2008

at the shut of an eye


The morning sun gracefully rises from the abyss, spreading rays of crimson light, dissolving darkness and those lovely dreams. Nature plays numerous roles in one’s life. She can be your friend, family and LOVE. On the contrary, she can ambush life and be an incomparable destructor. Despite the demise of dreams with every fresh dawn, we dream on.

Dreaming has always been my passion. A warm blanket (to cling on to), a little cuddling up on a sofa or a bed and there begins a neo, eternal journey. A voyage through the skies and stars. A voyage so familiar yet so mystique. The uncanny period of life more powerful than reality, paints pretty pictures of the dream job, dream paycheck, dream bike, dream car, dream house, dream love, dream kiss and other endless desires, which are invariably non-existent. A period of intoxication you want to savor forever. The sweet pains you want to relish for more than a lifetime.

However, good things come with unwanted supplements. This intoxication could sometimes give you the worst ever hangover. Those nightmares of god forbidden death of your loved one, followed by groping for your phone and buzzing him in the middle of the night, just to check if he is alright. A smiley that comes as a response to your unwanted fear, romantic (I know), but scary nevertheless. Those examination oriented dreadful dreams, where you are pressing the nib of the pen against the paper so hard, but the ink refuses to follow suit. NERVE WRECKING! A loud yell of anguish and agony that mostly goes unheard, as if a halo of vacuum was sucking up all the screams. SPOOKY!


Dreams have been defined as an unconscious state of confused mind. However, this confusion is that possession of yours which can neither be mugged nor tampered nor altered nor destroyed. It’s a world of mystery where you meet your inside YOU. A sweet world of pains and pleasures. A strong stairway to your goals.


In all the beautiful and grotesque times, I keep dreaming as it unravels the inside me:)



a little update:
Two beautiful members have embarked onto the most joyous journey called ‘life’.Yeah! Its celebration time at my place. My aunt delivered twins last night. Aaryan and Arjun. :) Congrats to the cutest parents’ in the world :)

a small four liner:)
Ever since, I met you,
You have been the apple of my eye,
With, Golden moon light you fill
The gleeful night sky.